Many people who are not trying to be malicious sometimes think they know what constitutes rape better than the people who have experienced it, simply because we get so many cultural messages about what constitutes sexual assault (most of which have little to do with how sexual assault actually plays out in real life). This isn't just an issue with trolls, however. If a man or a woman shows disinterest in, or discomfort with, finishing a sexual activity, but their partner ignores their uneasiness so they can finish, that qualifies as rape, regardless of what some asshole on the Internet thinks. Furthermore, the absence of "no," or even a partner's total silence, does not constitute consent. And while this is only a legal standard in certain places that have adopted affirmative consent laws, such as some college and university campuses, it should be a standard of human decency in all sexual situations.
They've even gone so far as to express concern for the man (whom Gianino never names) while showing outright hostility toward her.īut unless a person gives clear, express consent to sexual activity, they are not a consenting sexual partner. Though the essay has received a lot of support, a few readers have hatefully commented via Facebook that this didn't qualify as rape because Gianino didn't verbally withdraw her consent or physically push away her partner. However, instead of stopping when she expressed her discomfort, he continued having sex with her until he had finished. Though she didn't say the words, "stop," "don't," or "no" to the man she was having sex with, she did express to him that he was hurting her, and when he asked her if she wanted to stop, she replied "kind of" while grimacing in pain. In the essay, Gianino recounts a past sexual experience which began as consensual, but turned into what she personally felt was rape.
If its all right i want to kick it with you all night full#
But two days ago, after Bustle published a heartfelt personal essay by Laura Gianino, " I Didn't Say No - But It Was Still Rape," the trolls came out in full force to do just that. It saddens me that, even in 2016, some people think that their thoughts on what qualifies as rape are more important than the actual experiences of real women who have been assaulted.
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